I Could Have Continued... and Then There Was You

Though I can't be certain where I should be

I know when I should speak

And keeping quiet until spoken seems a test of endurance

I am taxed on all sides by an equal diversity of thought

When awe and horror collide in such a way

To mix epiphany with frustration

Well, it's something you've never known

Something you really don't have to understand

You haven't the capacity for this as well

So, close your eyes and your ears to the manifestations of all that I have felt as of late

I don't blame you

But it still is rather a lonely bench where I find rest

"Nothing ever happened"

As you so deftly rearrange all of my grief

Coast me to avoid what you and I both know to be real

I could find a kindred spirit

And we could deteriorate together

We could loathe, but allow, the decay of this world

And aid in the demolition of one another

We could feel sorry for ourselves

And plan a selfish escape from all the reasons

That we've been here this long

But I wanted to live, you know

I wanted you

It is much easier said than done

Living the present gentle and ravenous disposition that I have been dealt

These are things that I prayed you would never once have to waste a thought with

So I smile when I answer the telephone

And avoid you when I am forlorn

Suddenly you realize why at times

I won't speak for days

I could find someone who knows my troubles

But those who relate are are the kindred cursed with this

And that is a disaster just itching to happen

I could find another selfworthless someone

A mind as mine in one other distant and present form

And we'd fight by the hour and love when we're done

Just to feel anything but the reality that even together we are alone

And when it all becomes too difficult

We'd end more than our union and give up the ghost

Instead of believing in tomorrow

In ourselves

In true love

But, no... I have come to find

That I wanted to rediscover reason

I have come to find you

And that is reason enough