That Logical Smell...

Though I could easily have chosen the nonsense that flooded my head to pen down this evening
Though I could easily have strewn these words about in an artistically nondescript fashion
Tonight I am past that post and moving steadily on to uncomfortable lands
That lie outside the community of childish thoughts and sour thinking
My person remains as foolish and eccentric as if you had never touched it
But my opinions are well, well guarded since you euthanized the colt of confidence that once kept me from sharing your grounds
My voice is as drained now as the day I gave you the power that you so desperately fought for
My children, my precious little thoughts, watched as you burned and destroyed our happy home
Shortly after I welcomed you in to dry your tears, to warm your bones
And nurse reopened wounds
The unimaginable fears I once had faith would never touch me
Someone else had made it goal to seep as poison into what was once me
I now suck and spit vehemently to rid myself of the things you left me to bleed out on my own time
And that logical smell of dead animals follows my every step
My lips and throat are tired, as you can never imagine
My voice is hoarse with cries for help
If there is one thing you have taught me harshly
It is that we are each and all alone in this
The self I knew is slowly making known
All of its plans and actions
Coughing, sputtering, choking out whispers
Pale and sunken, but alive by all loose terms of the word
She breathes
And I educate her into a positive existence again
Though I, and only I will hold her frail little body in my sights
I forgive the fact that so many of you will never really see her again