Constant

As a constant in my life
You've one responsibility
A word every once in a much too long while
I wouldn't ask for more
Because that would only
Give you reason and way to disappear
I've shut the door on our love
At least, on my love for you
But the latch is so flimsy
That it creaks and it moans
In its attempts to sneak out
All that I closed off inside
Or its attempts to draw me back in
Does it seem like years to you, too
Since we last were in the same room
Since the awkward motions of our newly born legs
I'm much too certain to doubt
That you are happier now
But I also know that I miss
Something somewhat like this
You reach out
Because you know that what you're meant for
Is something abominably unknown to me
You keep me safely away
From a desire to change
The distance we, at times, find ourselves still talking over
I learned from you
That it is better, much better
To be alone with yourself
Or at the very least, just imagine you're with me
But I still want to know you
As everything but a loss
And I've hidden this thought
Long enough up to now
But what I do know
You can never
This knowledge would only destroy me
And what I do not know
Is if you have ever
Do you still
Or would you ever
Want to love me again