Thursday, July 30, 2009


You prepare, in anticipation of the beginning
For the point of meeting, head on, what you know will come
But the day to day routines you must accustom yourself to during the changing aftermath are always uncertain
And this is when you truly learn

You prepare, in anticipation of the end
For the point of meeting, head on, what you know will come
But the day to day routines you must accustom yourself to during the changing aftermath are always uncertain
And this is when you truly learn

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fallacy: A Lazy Man's Defense

It seems an undue punishment
That, possibly, in reality I did deserve
For misgivings and mistreatments imposed on those who stopped here before you
But, to be truthful, as this supposed complication undulates
It is simpler than you and I originally thought
When humans who are nothing more than humans
Discontinue an irrational belief in fates and curses
They are faced with their own decisions, faults, and barriers
Now, all decisions are acts of will
And can be altered
Faults are merely obstacles that can be overcome
And every barrier, with equally applied force and determination
Can be broken, does not hold us to any such pattern we have victimized ourselves with
Oh, why you don't look harder, I'll never understand
Why you still believe instead of manifest, I'll never know
That fact remains, and it is a blatant one
That this is not the way things are
This is only the way that you have let them become
'Doomed' is a fallacy you have lazily burdened yourself with
The way that you are, a lie with which you have cushioned your inability to try
The notion that you feel you do not excel with you and I
Is not your incapacity to love, but your unwillingness to try
A harsh reality that I have come to realize
And altered myself over time
Once you truly understand that life, that love, are difficult
It is only a new striving that could be attained
In all my admiration of you, I see this one flaw
Something not concrete unless you choose, again, to cement it as a part of you
That you are so willing to give it up
And pass this off as something unchangeable in you
Is unfathomably sad, and a path to certain failure
There is more to you than this, I'm certain of it
And with time, you will come to fully grasp this
That doom is a silly and childish thought and the only belief worth having is in yourself
And your ability to have, be, and do anything you have a passion for
And your will to make anything, even love, work well

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Unlike the Apple (For P.J.B.)

I have learned in my young age
I am learning as I write all of this to you
That certain questions are better unasked
And there are things that should never be said
Or have been said
I am patience at its peaking stamina
I am silence and the chosen study
Of diverting all attention from my face
Gradual as it is
I am told by some that the worth lies only a while ahead
I am told by some, by other somes
That this all wonderful as just a story
But the life I could be living has been buried by my striving for
What this could be
What might be waiting to reward me
What better of a life spent than never knowing
If you really return my love
Ignorance is calm
And happiness
And the feeling of only my own breath
Though, sometimes I'll admit
To make it easy
I pretend that it's only me and not halves parted over miles
And I do have my fears
Although to be fair to the audience I've claimed
I stifle them
A lack of courage never made for an interesting account of events
Like a fruit, I may very well bruise
And you may very well have been bruised
But unlike the apple
We have the choice and mechanics to heal
Like a child, I may very well be hurt
And you may very well have been hurt
But you are an adult now, with a mindset to put it all behind
If that is what you...
Well, for now, that is only what I wish
Respectfully, I decline to be a reason for you to hold to that past any longer
As I am witnessing
You are growing up so fast, my love
Growing closer to the sun
And the dawning of who you truly are
Your world revolves so fast
Your swift seasons change the taste of you
And I am cowardly and courageous all at once
Curious all the same
And getting used to things that way...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

That I Do

This must be love
That is to say, what is left when the romance is over
When the effort is on but one
When you feel it and I live it
For the most part I have learned that this is you
And not to ever take it personally
But, at times, I can't help but think
Maybe if I were not the person in the place that I find myself
Would things plateau the remarkably quick way that they have
At least in my eyes...
What do I do in this position?
How do I tell you
That I love you and that I just want that returned
Where do I leave this?
How long do I keep this in me
Before you or I decide that this is going nowhere
Do I know in what way I could have stopped it?
And what could I have done?
That I just love you... that was supposed to be enough
When that someone on the other side of me
Turns to realize that silohuette has replaced me
How long before he realizes
That what was good for only him
Was what I tried to live up to
How many times has he watched my fight my own words
Without ever even knowing that I really had something to say each time
How many forgotten words will he suddenly remember
Only to say them when I am too far to hear
What will he do when I let him know
That all I really ever cared about was to know that I was something
He cared about
What will he think when he knows of all the times I exhibited a stronger self control
When all I wanted to do was leave the logic
And love him unconditionally
And I do
Though I am learning
That I do...
What does he do in this position?
Does he speak with everything that is inside of him?
Does he tell me that my patience has been all at once rewarded
Does he love me? Does he thank me for my time?
Where does he leave this
Or does he leave it at all?
Does he connect that way I've hoped for all this long...
Does he know in what way he could have shown me this?
And does he know what on earth he could do?
Does he just love me?
If so... that will always be enough
And without limit I love him
Regardless of his blindness
Whether self-induced or out of his hands
When you read this will you realize
That the good in me is for you
And that I cannot wait a second if I had to
Just to see your face
That I imagine you with me, sometimes
That I have someone to be grateful to for more than he knows
And that he is you
That I love you
That I am here

Saturday, July 11, 2009

If I Were That Man

She looks to me and sighs
Before she sings
She says, "You're about to hear it all... all of my honesty."
She sings a lonely song
And I can't imagine
The calm on her face could ever hide the pain in these lines
"When I know that I am here for nothing
I will know that I've truly found home
And he loves me, yes, but in his own way
I know the truth inside, but sometimes it feels as though it's gone."
I can't help but to glance at the curve of her back
And long to make a tension released there
I wonder how he loves and what keeps it so far
That she can feel the way she does now
She says, "I have been bruised
I have been cheated
Being kept at a distance is better than hurting."
But what if I could be that same man for you
With a different complexion and a haven for you
If you would stay here with me
Only a few hours
Not forget, but set aside what you know to be appropriate
You would see everything that I have tried to tell you
And the choice would still be yours
Because if I were that man, I would love you
Not only in my own way, but in the way you deserve
And you would not have to doubt
That I am here, the I am true
That I care nothing for the world, but to make it a good home for you
The tiny lines on your hands
The curve of your fingers
And ever blossomed freckle on the skin of your face
These things are beyond what they seem
You are a creature your own
Something I would desire, but something I would never know
I care for the days between here
And when your heart stops it beating
To make them exactly what you thought they would be
I care for the way that you walk
That you do not stumble
Or take paths marked by promises that will never be kept
Because if I were that man, I would closer to me
And not high with comparison
I would give my own heart
To have a creature such as you
Wander onto my grounds and find shelter in my home
If I were that man
I would have thought so much more
Not only of you
But of how I could make the moment better
I would climb out to the farthest branch
And risk what I know
Just to hear you sing something
In a happier note
When I am that man
I will love you
You will not sing to yourself
Because you won't be alone

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Ah, To Be Different... Like Them...

My tongue must have tripped slightly in my nervous state
When I requested changes brought about within myself that only outside forces could shape and being
Between Illumination and Lunacy some small syllable was sadly lost on its way
Between my lips and their ears
And the outcome of my fervent pleas remains a great let down
You'd think that for all their omniscience they could have read a feeble mind
You'd think that for all their concern they'd have repeated it back to me
But now, uncorrected, the course has been set into unalterable motion
And for all foolish struggle, I can't seem to salmon up through these pounding waves
Or maybe this just happens to everyone at some point in their lives
Possibly multiple episodes of this same exact questioning arises
Who would have thought that your problems are not your own
That this isn't unique
That the same fears have crossed all different thoughts
All these years
Yet, for the similarities between in flesh and in blood and in mediocricy
The element that blends is the driving force to envision ourselves set aside from the shapeless sea of bipedals
Something astoundingly new
But the name that they gave you is... You
A jumpstart of the heart to the willing
And no one with equal time to talk when searching an engagement
But, too many creatures the same when all goal is to be strange
I am the intentional difference!
Hear me(!)... blend into the everyday mumble of this perfect, running engine...