A Cold Body

I longed for a freedom
For you and I both
From all pain
From the physical enclosure of failing skin and bone
From the twisted back and diseases
From this world's incapacity to withhold such spirits
As we two
And those closest to us
And someone told me the other day
That this planet was coming to an end
In response, I couldn't decide which I was least ready for
To continue in all this spiral
This circle of ongoing apathy, suffering, and redemption
Or to say a chaotic farewell to all that I know
I knew you
Not well, but better than some, and most
You knew me
Not well, but the best you could
You know me much better now
From your aerial view
You know us all better
And cannot communicate
To protect, no longer
To embrace, no longer
To guide, no longer
Except by a sleeping force
I am questioning every notion I have ever held onto
I am throwing myself to the wolves
I am wishing for you and never receiving
At least, you haven't returned yet
Not even in sleeping
Hands like ice
I never imagined it was your hands should freeze over
Until the call that broke my soul
I have only questions since you let go
And no answers, no body to cling to
No one has told me lately that everything will be just fine
I thought of crafting a hook and line to you
But no metal is strong enough to hold cloud
And pull you to me
I miss you, yes
And, no, sometimes I am not alright
I fight those I love
And fight myself on a daily basis
My stance is not the same
Since you became air and rain
Since you became the sound barrier broken overhead
I miss you always
And think about you as often and as little as I can
Everything I ever knew as solidified was questioned
And has been ever since
They wheeled you away through the front door
And I kissed a cold face
That I would never see again