Sediment

I suppose in situations like this
The best thing to do would be to walk away
You've already started to realize
But before you really get to know
I ought not to show my face more
Lately, my comfort has gotten the best of me
And you're beginning to see all the potential
I never had
Uglier by the minute
More of a mistake by the day
And now that I can see the disgust forming
I can bleed out words of true phenomena
The sharpest pronunciations any man has ever witnessed
Halfway to the point of finally letting go
When will my twitching body give up the ghost
When will the god that I refuse to believe in
Refuse to believe in giving me breath
I think, to myself, I would much rather drown
But not in the way that I have been in front of everyone's eyes
And not in the way they all shake their heads
I retaliated to you over my own faulty behavior
No, I can't explain the logic that put the hate on my face this morning
Nor do I think you would believe it if I could
Or that it was meant for reflection, not for you
I feel the surge of every different wonderful and horrible feeling
Coming forth in waves
Against what I never thought was a mountain
To have always been weathered
I saw that expression on your face today
Then I realized the sand in your eyes was me
And I knew, then, to go
And leave explanations to the shoreline
Recuperate myself in the sediment of some mediocre bank
Some private muddy solution
In the darkness of a deep hideaway
Please, remember me the way you knew me in the beginning hours
Close your eyes to the cold that followed warmth
Make me sorry for what I have done
Though I'm not certain of what it is yet
Just, please, never speak to me again
Our story will be told somehow
Without ever having to happen
Goodbye